War Stories

I hate telling war stories.

The feeling that comes with them.

Feeling like it's a contest. Who did what. Where. When.

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about service and pride. Which is ironic considering I still work with Marines, although not in uniform.

There are times when I have immense pride. Sometimes I feel silly for having that pride. I wonder if it's "boot" or "vet bro-ish."

Then I see veterans taking advantage of others for personal gain. Remember good Marines who got kicked out. Leaders who got away with things because of rank. Observing individuals in leadership positions do a wonderful job of "talking the talk," but can't walk the walk.

Boy, are there plenty of great talkers out there.

But something my old roommate said rings in my head. It was something he said to me while I was over-analyzing a mistake I made.

He told me, "In the Marine Corps, you can't take this shit too seriously, man, you'll go crazy."

That stuck with me.

He wasn't talking about combat or being proficient at your MOS, which should be taken seriously. He was talking about fixating on things that, in the end, won't matter. At least, not to you.

Of course, all of those things that make me bitter matter.

But I shouldn't harbor bad feelings about them to the point of it harming my pride.