Colored Cloth

This one has been sitting in my drafts for a few months. But I think it's a good time to let it out into the ugly world.

This was originally in response to an Instagram post I saw. A Marine posted a selfie in uniform and she has a CAR. The Marine was in Afghanistan in 2021 during the Kabul pull-out.

Shockingly (said with dripping sarcasm), the comment section was filled with a lot of digs at the Marine, stuff like they probably didn't really "earn their CAR."

Now, before I continue, let me explain what a CAR is to my hockey audience. A Combat Action Ribbon is a personal award given for satisfactory performance under enemy fire. It's the only ribbon that "matters." Every infantryman covets one because it's evidence that one has been in combat.

There's cases of "CAR-chasing" in combat where a ribbon-hungry officer might exaggerate a few details in their write-up to earn a CAR. Some people believe that to truly "earn a CAR" one has to receive fire and return fire — which isn't true.

And quite frankly, it really doesn't matter.

It's a piece of colored cloth that makes some people relive a nightmare and others feel inadequate, like they "didn't do enough."

So, back to that comment section. You know, the one filled with people who probably don't have a CAR commenting on the Marine with a CAR.

This is how we eat our own. And, shamefully, I admit that I too was like this once. As many grunts are.

Comparing combat experience is a tale as old as time in the Marine Corps. I do believe that there is a place for cocky "dick measuring." Nobody does it better than Marines.

But there has to be a place of understanding in grounded reality. And that reality is that we don't get to choose our combat experiences. We don't get to pick which unit we go to or the deployments we go on.

Which leads me to this quote from "I Write Poetry, Not Roe" by Mason Rodrigue in Rock Eater:

For avoiding casualties this man with two degrees
probably awarded a ribbon with a star,
but me and my brothers still feel misplaced shame
because we didn't earn a CAR
It's taken me years, over many beers and some tears,
to sort through these issues.
I'm thankful now; no guarantees
that flying bullets will miss you.

There are people that I know very well who feel bad about their CAR because they didn't "earn it." Maybe they didn't fire their weapon, or sat in a vehicle while the gunner returned fire. Or, maybe they deployed to a dangerous place like Sangin and just didn't see combat.

You didn't get to choose what happened to you. And it's ok to feel those emotions. They need to be felt for them to live their lifecycle. If you don't feel them, they live like bacteria and become deep seated bitterness and anger.

And it applies all the same to those who "only went on a MEU."

This is coming from a guy who instigated a bar fight by yelling "MEU babies" at some douchebags.

I think it's easy to let what didn't happen minimize a very important part of someone's history. And I think it's very important to have pride in your personal history, so long as it's not something that defines who you are as a person.

Besides, it's a stupid colored piece of cloth.

A soldier will fight long and hard for a piece of colored cloth.

— Napoleon Bonaparte